Building an immune system - Exposing our daughter to germs

11-months-old, first time in the front of the shopping cart, looking like a pro

When we brought home our daughter as a new baby, I couldn't imagine putting her on the floor without a blanket under her, or letting people with unwashed hands touch her face or fingers. I would cringe when she put visibly-dirty toys in her mouth and I hoped and prayed that she wouldn't get sick when other kids would put their fingers in her mouth! My husband asked me how long I was going to protect her from germs.  Honestly, I had no idea. I really wasn't sure how long I would feel like that, but I knew somehow at that point that I did need to protect her to some extent. Newborns are fragile in that regard, I feel. Breastfeeding really helps to build an immune system, so she has had that going for her from the start. We chose not to have her vaccinated, at least in her first year, so I wanted to make sure that her immune system was sturdy enough to handle whatever she might come in contact with, Lord willing.

I never intended to have her grow up in a sterile environment. We don't use antibacterial soap or hand sanitizer in our house, because I feel that it simply isn't necessary and the negatives far outweigh the positives, but we do wash our hands thoroughly. I do sanitize pacifiers and bottle parts with boiling water every now and then, especially after a cold or illness. My husband and I take vitamins, drink juice from fresh fruits and veggies and enjoy outdoor activities. We very rarely get sick. When I started teaching, I used nearly all of my sick days because my immune system was overloaded with every bug being passed around the school. I remember distinctly the feeling of doom that washed over me with every droplet of spit aimed at my face by a sneezing or coughing kindergartener that first year, because I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I would soon be sneezing or coughing too. At that point, my immune system was still recovering from having mono in college. This year, I haven't been sick at all yet - praise God! 


changing a diaper in the woods - on a log

When she was five-months-old, I found that I was okay with the idea of her scooting around on our floor without a blanket under her and when she would drop her pacifier (on the rare occasion that it wasn't strapped to her car seat), I would take off and visible dirt and hair before popping it back into her mouth. Actually, I am a big fan of pacifier straps, but that will be another post. At first I only put her down on our own floor, followed later by floors at my friends' houses and eventually the church floor. I am careful about the hospital and nursing home floors because of C-diff and MRSA, which I do not want her exposed to. I read an article a few days ago that suggests that people in developed countries are more likely to suffer from allergies, especially those who live in cities. The article suggests that the allergies could develop because we are not exposed to as many germs and parasites here as people are in other parts of the world. There is most likely a genetic component too, but I want to make sure that I am not protecting our daughter from normal germs. I want her body to have a strong immune system. If I could afford it, I would feed her only organic foods, grown as close to home as possible, with at least half of each meal consisting of raw vegetables. When the ground warms up enough, I want her to walk barefoot outside and sink her fingers and toes into the garden. I want her to play in the dirt. I played outside almost every day as a child, and I worry that many children don't get outside enough anymore. I am also thankful that we have a well with wonderful water here. I am leery about having so many chemicals in town water. I know that the water has been extensively tested and deemed "safe" but how much chlorine or fluoride should a body ingest? Drinking water is a great way to detoxify the body and keep things working smoothly. My mother is a firm believer in "drowning a cold" by drinking lots of water when you realize you might be coming down with something. I think I it makes sense, and I try to drink enough water.


As I am writing this, our daughter is 11-months-old and has had thrush as a baby, a fever on 2 occasions, a runny nose a few times and one cold that made her cough. I really don't like to take medicine unless I absolutely need it, and I don't like to give it to her either, though I have given her a fever-reducer once. For myself, I usually try everything else first - cinnamon, vinegar, honey, garlic...you get the idea. When we had thrush (which is basically a yeast infection), I made a paste from 1/2 capsule of acidophilus and breast milk and put it in her mouth, and on her tush three times a day. I was also swallowing acidophilus to fight off the thrush in my body, since it is easy to pass it back and forth from mother to baby. After three weeks it was nearly gone when I got a clogged milk duct that turned into fire-like mastitis and had to go on antibiotics to kick it, which made the thrush exponentially worse over night. We eventually used medicine to get rid of the thrush, but I do believe that acidophilus would have taken care of it if I hadn't gone on the antibiotic. I still don't know why she had the fevers or where exactly she got the colds, but nothing has really knocked her down yet. Nursing helps babies to develop their immune systems because the baby communicates his or her needs to the mother, who then makes antibodies and feeds them back to the baby. Cool, right? I would rather have her exposed to colds and illnesses when she is still nursing and I can still "help" her fight them than keep her so isolated that she gets sick all the time when she is older. I am hoping to nurse her until she is at least two.

normally she'd wear the safety belt, but it is broken

When we go to stores, we usually carry our daughter around rather than keeping her in her car seat, simply because she sits in her car seat for at least 1-2 hours to and from the store, so I want her to be able to move when we are there. When I am by myself, I prefer to use my Boba carrier, but when my husband, mum or siblings are around, she gets carried and passed around as we shop. Now that she is bigger, I feel that she is old enough to sit in the front of the cart. I am not sure why I suddenly feel like she can handle it, but I do. I don't disinfect the cart or use a seat-liner. I don't want her licking the floor of the grocery store, but I want her exposed little by little to the germs that can help her to defend herself. I allow her to put the toys from the church nursery in her mouth. I am sure we will be experiencing more sniffles and maybe vomit, but I think it will be worth it in the long run, and this is coming from the mother who is terrified by the very thought of vomit. Are we taking a risk? Absolutely. We don't know what we are exposing her to and she hasn't been vaccinated against pertussis or polio etc. yet. I still think it is worth it. I don't have all of the answers. I got chicken pox when I was 16 and it was miserable because I had a really bad case. I would much rather have had it lightly at 6 or 7 like my younger siblings did. I know that shingles is awful, but I am still wary of the varicella shot...I would rather have her get actual chicken pox, if her friends get it. So many children are vaccinated against it that I am not sure if exposure will even be possible. I know that it can be dangerous, but so can eating peanut butter or swimming, and I intend to have her do those things. Maybe I need to look into the shingles vaccine more thoroughly.

I am not saying that using a shopping cart liner makes you a bad parent or that pacifier sanitizer is inherently evil. I am merely sharing my thoughts and feelings on a subject that I feel gets very little press. I know that I had to consciously make a decision about whether or not to wash the car seat liner or diaper bag before the first use (I didn't) or to wash new toys and stuffed animals before letting her put them in her mouth (I did). Now I usually let her have her new toys without washing them. These are decisions every parent has to make. If my daughter had been a preemie or had a compromised immune system, you can bet I would be doing things differently. Mum says that we all have to eat a peck of dirt before we die, and I am finally ready to let my daughter taste it.

Preventing SIDS, AKA "Cot Death"

If you are like me, you probably grew up believing that Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is an unpredictable and unpreventable event during which infants under 1 year of age appear to randomly die without explanation, usually in a crib, bassinet, playpen, or somewhere they sleep. As it turns out, it isn't unpredictable, unexplained or unpreventable, and it certainly isn't a syndrome. If you know someone who has lost a child to SIDS, then you understand what a tragedy it is that this information isn't readily available to the American public. http://www.nomoresids.org/ is a site dedicated to educating parents about SIDS, because it is 100% preventable. I am going to sum up what I have learned, but a great read for more information would be Dancing Cats, Silent Canaries by Dr. David Denton Davis. I started looking for information about SIDS when I was pregnant and curious about everything, and I was very surprised by what I found, and what is not necessarily public knowledge yet.

TO PREVENT SIDS:

• Use a mattress that is entirely 100% organic cotton, inside and out with absolutely no additives or waterproof layer, OR Cover your existing mattress with a Serendipity cover. Follow the directions.
• Use only 100% cotton (untreated) for all crib bedding and sleepwear.  No stuffed animals, pillows, mattress pads (not even waterproof ones) comforters that contain anything other than 100% cotton.
• Use laundry soap that does not contain phosphates, petrochemicals and perfumes.

What causes SIDS/Cot death? 
Basically, it has to be an exact combination of common contributing factors, much like the Perfect Storm.

1. PVC and other chemicals  Mattresses generally contain some level of toxic chemicals including arsenic, phosphorus and antimony because of the PVC they are covered with - particularly baby mattresses. So the first contributing factor is PVC or these, and perhaps other, chemicals. Did you ever think it was strange that SIDS doesn't exist in countries where modern mattresses aren't used? Fire retardants also contain chemicals that should raise concerns.
2. Fungus Household fungus (mold and mildew) feeds on chemicals (including those found in PVC) and converts them into very toxic gas - "highly toxic nerve agents".  (www.nomoresids.org) The gases are more dense than the air, so they hover below the air, close to the mattress. This is why having a baby sleep on his or her back can help prevent SIDS (on a non-protected mattress), because the baby will hopefully breathe more fresh air than being face down in poisonous gases. You can imagine what a traditional bumper pad can do, containing all of the gases in the crib instead of letting them fall to the floor. Older mattresses often contain both PVC and fungus, which is a deadly combination. Used/second-hand mattresses are more likely to contain fungus already, and are therefore a higher risk.
3. Heat and moisture Heat and moisture are the factors that accentuate all others because they  increases the activity of the fungus. When the baby is over-wrapped or has a fever (which can
   
   be a result of vaccinations), the fungus in the mattress pumps out more gases. More SIDS deaths happen in winter because babies are more likely to be over-wrapped and houses are generally buttoned-up tight, so there is minimal ventilation and air flow, which means that the gases don't get drawn out of the crib.
4. A weak immune system Babies under one year are generally the victims of SIDS, because their immune systems can't handle the toxic gases like an older child or adult can. Most babies that die from SIDS are under 6-months-old - most likely because they are too young to wake up/sit up/stand up and cry when they don't feel well.

What's the deal with the mattress cover thingy?
Serendipity Mattress Covers were specifically made to be gas-impermeable. It feels and looks like a clear, heavy-duty plastic bag with a slit along the bottom. Gases and moisture cannot get through a Serendipity Mattress Cover, which means that even if all of the contributing factors coincide and gases are released, they can't get through to baby and baby's moisture won't be further activating the fungus. Baby is therefore safe. These covers have been in production for well over 10 years in New Zealand, which historically has had one of the highest death rates from SIDS. There have been NO deaths on a properly-covered mattress so far, regardless of whether the baby was sleeping on his or her back or front. There is now a law in New Zealand that requires all day care centers to cover their mattresses, and there have been no more cases of SIDS at day care centers there to date.

Personal experiences
We decided that it was worth the $30 to purchase the Serendipity Mattress Cover from amazon.com to have the peace of mind that SIDS couldn't be an issue for us. Our cradle mattress was new and completely organic cotton, so that is safe anyway. Our crib mattress was new, but not organic cotton. We actually bought this crib mattress. The cover was simple to use, and the directions were very clear. Basically, you slide a clean, dry mattress into the slit in the Serendipity cover so that the slit will be on the bottom for ventilation. Then you fold the ends of the cover in toward the slit and use the sticky strips to keep them there. You want it to be tightly covering the mattress. We use a 100% cotton towel over the Serendipity cover, which pads it a little and cuts down on the "plastic crinkle" and then a 100% cotton fitted sheet over that. I find that it is easiest to put on sheets before putting the mattress down into the crib. Also, because moisture can't get through the Serendipity Mattress Cover, there is no need for a waterproof mattress pad because the cover itself can be wiped clean if accidents occur.  We used 100% cotton flannel receiving blankets around our daughter to make her feel cozier - like she was being held. When our daughter was young, we followed the directions exactly. She prefers to sleep on her stomach. When she could pull herself up on the side of the crib, I made the decision to allow her to wear fleece to bed because it was so cold and she would frequently crawl out from under her covers, but that strongly discouraged on www.nomoresids.org. You will need to make that decision for yourself. Our daughter sleeps best when it is chilly, so we purposely keep her room cool. She has a tiny down comforter that she uses as well for warmth, which is also not recommended. We also chose to purchase and use a breathable mesh bumper pad made of polyester, which is not ideal and not recommended by the www.nomoresids.org but was necessary to keep my daughter from getting her arms and legs stuck out the sides between the slats in her sleep. Our daughter is particularly sturdy and almost a year old, so I am not very concerned at this point. I send the link to the No More SIDS Foundation website to expectant parents that I know, and I encourage you to do so as well.

I would highly recommend making the investment for your own baby, if not the babies of people you know. There are an average of 6 deaths every 24 hours because of SIDS/Cot death, which is an absolute travesty when prevention is so easy, but those $30 covers can be expensive for many families. The No More SIDS Foundation has an area of their website for donations, if you are interested in contributing. I personally believe that spreading awareness is very important.  Please understand that this post is intended to share information, not to accuse anyone of being a bad parent or make you feel guilty in any way if you have lost a baby to SIDS.

It is important to note that we purchased the Serendipity mattress cover ourselves

and that I did not receive any compensation for this post whatsoever.

Life's Rollercoaster Ride- My daughter's birth story

WARNING: This is a semi-graphic post. There are not graphic pictures. If you are pregnant, please don't read this birth story because I don't want to scare you. There are plenty of pleasant birth stories for you to read. Read this after you have your baby.

I have wanted to have a baby ever since I was a little girl. I loved pretending that my dolls were my children, and when I was three and I saw my baby sister for the first time, I knew for certain that I wanted real babies of my own.

My husband and I spent two years establishing our marriage with God before bringing a baby into the family. During that two years, I started my research on cloth diapers, parenting, SIDS, you name it and I probably researched it. I wanted to be prepared.




41 weeks

PREGNANCY
We found out that we were pregnant in July of 2011. My husband is a Whitewater Rafting Guide and we should have suspected that something was amiss when I fell asleep rafting, which is very unusual to say the least. Pregnancy was a breeze. I never threw up and only occasionally felt queasy. My sense of smell was heightened and my face broke out a bit, but generally I felt great. I felt that it was the dream pregnancy. I just knew that our baby was going to be brilliant and beautiful and I was going to do an awesome job with my natural birth. After all, that is when I had put on my birthing plan: no medications, no episiotomies, and no inductions. We chose not to find out the baby's gender because we wanted it to be a surprise.

At our 20 week ultrasound, we found out that our baby was healthy and developmentally advanced. The baby breathed consistently like a champ throughout the entire ultrasound and size-wise everything looked great. I grew each week and put on a little more weight. For the first three months or so, I napped for about 4 hours each day. Before becoming pregnant, I was 136lbs. I stopped looking at the doctor's scales when I had gained 45lbs, so I don't know how much I gained all together. From the back, you really couldn't tell that I was pregnant because the baby was all in the front. I craved Cheese Danish and Arby's  (rare treats), oranges, and Ruffles Potato Chips (I rationed myself to three bags throughout the entire pregnancy). I couldn't stand the thought of cold cereal with milk because of the sogginess, so I ate toast and hot cereal instead. I was active and continued with life as usual - snowshoeing with my husband and playing "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" nearly every day with kids at school.

At our 32 week appointment, the doctor measured the baby and predicted that he or she would likely be a large 8 or 9 pound baby. I was very disappointed. I wanted a little baby. I decided that day that I should probably have the baby early, so it wouldn't get too big (like I had ANY control over that!). I had started having Braxton Hicks contractions here and there at around 24 weeks, but I started having pretty consistent contractions at about 36 weeks. By 37 weeks, I had BH contractions every 5-10 minutes. I thought that this was it, so I started trying to induce myself or intensify the contractions by walking, eating pineapple and spicy foods, jumping and dancing, using a breast pump...everything I could think of. Some of the contractions were pretty intense, and we ended up driving to the hospital (2 hours away) with 2 false alarms. Both times we were told that I was definitely having regular contractions but that they weren't productive. I was 1.5 cm dilated and mostly effaced, but not in real labor yet. The second time at the hospital was actually our 40 week due date, April 25th 2012, and the doctors thought that I was too tired from the intense contractions to actually go into labor because my body knew I was too exhausted to handle it. I told them that I hadn't had a good night's sleep in weeks and after a few hours of napping in the tub, they admitted me to the hospital and gave me some morphine to help me sleep through the night, in hopes that I would be in labor in the morning. I had some crazy dreams that night but I slept well and when the doctor woke me up (I was there to get sleep and he woke me up at 8am!) my contractions had almost gone completely away and I was sent home, disappointed. Before I left, the doctor checked on the baby and he told me that the baby was at least 9 lbs. Great.

I had a major dilemma. I really wanted a natural birth. I didn't want any medications or Pitocin. I had watched "The Business of Being Born" several times on Netflix. Ideally, I wanted a home birth, but the nearest hospital that could deliver a baby was 2 hours away, so if anything went wrong we would likely die, so I settled for a hospital birth. I wasn't going to compromise the natural birth though. If my mother could give birth unmedicated for 6 babies, I could handle it too. However, if this baby wasn't induced, it might grow so big that I couldn't push it out. Above everything else, I DID NOT want a C-section. I was doing this myself. I figured that even if I had Pitocin, I would just deal with the extra pain and not have any other meds. I shared my worries with my doctor and she told me that it was a legitimate concern that the baby was large and that maybe I would need a C-section if the baby kept growing. That was not what I wanted to hear. It was decided that at 41 weeks, we would begin inducing labor, starting with the most natural ways first to hopefully encourage my own body to kick in.

INDUCTION
We reported to the maternity ward bright and early on Wednesday, May 2nd, to begin induction. My membranes were stripped and I was given misoprostol internally. We waited for an hour and then started walking up and down the stairs for a few hours. When they did another internal exam, nothing had changed enough yet, so we were sent home for the time being. We were to return in labor, or the next morning. The next morning we did the same routine again and again we was sent home. Friday morning started off the same, but when my body still didn't respond enough, we started Pitocin as well. Pitocin got contractions started, but I couldn't even feel them. They would ask me if I was contracting, and I would have to feel my belly before answering because I couldn't feel them without looking at the monitor, that is the only way I could tell. I didn't progress enough. They did a quick ultrasound and concluded that the baby had plenty of fluid and that it was safe to wait. The doctor predicted that the baby was around 9lbs, maybe a little more. The hospital wouldn't induce labor over the weekend, so we were told to return in labor or 7:30 on Monday morning. I walked miles and miles that weekend.

LABOR
On Monday morning at around 5:30 on May 7th, I woke up with intense contractions. I got up and took a shower, and the contractions were very intense and not letting up. I ate a decent breakfast and drank plenty of fluids, just in case this was it. They had told me that when I was really in labor, I would know it. I didn't know if this was it or not, so I figured it wasn't. My husband and I reported to the hospital at 7:30 as planned. The doctor did an internal exam and told me that I was completely effaced and 3cm dilated and almost in labor. Having been "almost in labor" for over a month, we decided that more Pitocin was probably the way to go, until my body took over. I welcomed the pain, because that meant that the baby was finally coming. I labored in the tub for several hours, with towels around me to keep me from sliding. My husband and an off-duty OB nurse who is a dear friend of the family were there with me to help me through. They held my hand and put washcloths on my face and neck. The doctor broke my water. I ate graham crackers and peanut butter at around 2pm and labored all day, eventually getting out of the tub - I don't remember when. At midnight, I was 9cm dilated. I didn't have the urge to push yet and I was told that the baby was too high to dilate further. I tried walking and using a labor ball. My husband supported my body weight as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other "dancing" with him, with my arms around his neck and my head on his chest. We were doing great and we knew it. I had been fairly reasonable so far (my husband laughed when he was proofreading this...apparently he disagrees). I had impressed myself anyway. I had mentioned that I believed Eve was an idiot. At one point my husband was brought toast (he hadn't eaten yet) and it smelled so bad that I told him to get rid of it. When he went to eat it in the hallway I had another contraction and got mad that he was gone. They talked me through every contraction with encouragement and squeezed my hand tightly. My husband kept reminding me of the Lamaze breathing techniques but I disregarded. I breathed slowly, saying to myself  with each breath in and each breath out, "I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this..." until the contraction subsided. My husband and I had written encouraging Bible verses on recipe cards and had brought them to the hospital with us. He read them to me, over and over again. At 1am, the doctors started mentioning the possibility of a C-section. I cried. I didn't want a C-section but I was still 9 cm and the baby was still high. I refused it. I tried many different positions to try to get the baby to come down further. We tried acupressure points and increasing the Pitocin to the point that I got no relief at all between contractions, but nothing helped. At 2am I was crying and scared as they told me that they needed my permission to call in the anesthesiologist and surgical team to do a C-section. They told me that I could labor for a few more days but the baby was too big to drop lower, so it would be impossible for me to push the baby out myself. A few more days wouldn't make the baby smaller, so it would still result in a C-section. "Can I have my other babies naturally after a C-section?" I asked. The doctor assured me that I could. I reluctantly agreed to the C-section, hoping that I would push the baby out myself before they could get me to the operating room. I felt like I needed to use the bathroom continuously now, and with their blessing I tried pushing a little, but nothing helped.

C-SECTION...AKA BIRTHING??
I nearly threw up when I realized this was real. I was going to be sliced open, naked on a table under bright lights and they were going to take the baby out of me through an opening in my stomach instead of the "real way". My hopes and dreams were absolutely shattered. I had secretly thought that C-sections were for people with physical abnormalities or wimps, but certainly not for normal, healthy me. How humbling. I was put into a hospital robe, I signed paperwork. I was told what would happen. It was surreal...just a blur of tears and pain and bright lights. As I was wheeled on the bed out the doors and toward the elevator, I saw my mother waiting in the waiting room and I looked away, crying. I couldn't bear the thought of letting her down, letting everyone down, by having a C-section. "It's okay, Heidi!" she said with a smile. It wasn't okay. None of it was going right. None of it was okay. I felt as though God had abandoned me, though I knew that wasn't true. A needle was stuck in my back to numb me, and I lost feeling from my chest down. The drape kept me from seeing what was happening, but the tears continued to stream down my face. My husband and Nurse-friend stayed near my head, giving me a pep-talk and reassuring me. My arms were useless, held out to my sides. I was so tired and so disappointed in myself. My body was numb, but I could feel tugging and I could see that I was being yanked from side to side. "Daddy, do you want to tell your wife the gender?" he was asked. He responded that he did.

SHE IS BORN
In a matter of a few minutes, the tugging stopped, we heard a gurgley cry and suction sound, followed by more crying. It was 3am exactly. He was told to look over the drape. He did. It took him a few seconds to realize what he was looking at and to tell me that we had a daughter. I was  happy to hear that she was a girl. I had secretly hoped and thought that she was a girl for several months. They lifted her briefly so that I could see her before they cleaned her up. Her body was egg-shaped from being crammed into that shape in my uterus. She was purple and looked like she was covered in ricotta cheese with streaks of blood. She was HUGE, fat and huge. Of course this night would be followed up by having a baby that looked like that. Of course. I loved her, but I was concerned that she looked like that. My husband brought her to my face and I turned my head to kiss her cheeks and tell her that she is fearfully and wonderfully made. We told everyone what we had named her. My husband stayed with the baby as she was weighed and cleaned up on the warmer. The doctors told us that she was so big that it was hard to get her out through the incision- especially her mid-section. They had no idea that she was THAT big.

I heard someone say "11 pounds!" and I asked what was 11 pounds. "Your baby girl is 11 pounds!" they said. What? Is that possible? I realized that I had had a legitimate C-section. No one could argue with that. 11 pounds! How in the world did I end up with an 11 pound baby? To make matters worse, she would have happily stayed in there and continued growing for goodness knows how long, if she'd had the chance. "Don't worry, Heidi! She's getting cuter as they clean her up!" my husband encouraged me from across the room. I had had all of these grand ideals of skin-on-skin

time and breastfeeding as soon as she was born, but none of that was possible because of this stupid C-section. I was too tired to beat myself up about it anymore, and I started to sleep. I don't remember much more.

CRASHING
The next thing I remember is being in an elevator and then a room I didn't recognize. The lights weren't as bright there. My husband was holding the baby in the corner. I had tubes in my nose and they kept jostling me around on the bed, turning me from side to side. "Breathe, Heidi!" They kept being so bossy. I just wanted to sleep. I had just had a kid, for crying out loud. Leave me alone, I thought. "Heidi, can you cough for me?!" I tried, but it was a weak cough. "Again, Heidi, please cough again! We need you to breathe!" I tried, but it was hard. I was too tired. I was later told that my husband had held the baby to me and helped her breast-feed right there in the ICU, but I don't remember that.  Someone pushed hard on my belly. It didn't hurt but I could feel pressure. I was hemorrhaging tons of blood. He left with the baby and I stayed upstairs, unable to complain about it. I was shaking hard. I tried to hold still but I couldn't. I couldn't relax. I was so tired, but I couldn't stop shaking and sleep. The doctors and nurses were yelling at each other, hurrying around me. They kept yelling at me to breathe and relax and stop shaking. I couldn't do anything. "We need you to calm down, Heidi! What will help you relax?" they asked in my face. I said my husband's name over and over again until they understood what I was saying. I needed him. The idea that I had a baby now too was a distant thought. I needed my husband. Then he was there with me, laying next to me on the bed with his face near my face. "Where is she?" I asked. "Your mom has her. She's sleeping I think." Everything was okay for the time being. I am told that I calmed right down, my blood pressure regulated and I was breathing well on my own.

RECOVERING


a more accurate representation of her size

I was brought down to my real room soon after that, and I woke up there. My mother was holding the baby and telling me that she was hungry. I like this picture of us becoming acquainted with each other because the angle of the camera makes her look much smaller than she really was. Notice that she is holding her head up even though she was just born. She held her own head in the operating room, I am told, and looked around at the people and lights. It took a long time to learn how to breastfeed, but that is a topic for another post. It's weird, but even though I loved her so much, I wanted to have a do-over in terms of birthing her, so I could do it my way. I felt like somehow it was her fault that she was so big and that I couldn't push her out myself. This huge battle inside of me was just beginning, and I was too tired and too emotional to deal with it. Between nursing her and staring at her, I mostly slept and cried. I never thought that I would love having a catheter, but as feeling returned, so did pain. Moving was painful. Holding her on me was painful. Sitting up was painful. Any kind of pressure was painful. I had lost a lot of blood and was very pale and very weak. A blood transfusion was discussed, but I was stubbornly refusing it, so they didn't give me one. We were in the hospital for a week before I was strong enough to go home. Our baby girl was amazing - so strong, smart and healthy. I talked my husband through changing a diaper, teaching him how to do it from my bed. I had thought that I would be the one doing the diapers and the baths. He was a trooper. He was my hands when I was incapable. My family and friends surrounded me with love and support. They would tell me that I had done a great job, but I felt like it was all lies. I hadn't done anything well - I had a C-section. I would fall asleep mid-sentence with visitors in the room and wake up moments later, crying. Talk about mixed emotions. I knew intellectually that I could have died. I know, even now, that she was too big for my body to birth naturally, but part of me wonders if I could have done it if I had refused induction. If I hadn't tried to induce my labor at all, would she have come on her own?

It took months before I could talk about her birth story without crying or getting angry. I felt like the entire situation just wasn't fair. I guess God had different plans for me. I couldn't have picked a more wonderful daughter. She is beautiful and I love her more than I knew was possible. I struggled with

too big for newborn diapers and clothes

what I now believe was post-pardum depression for a while, even after we went home. It was hard for me to cope when my other pregnant friends had healthy natural births. It has been a process learning to make peace with my own story and to give God the glory. God brought me through every part of the process and through it I am learning to surrender my own plans and trust in His. I do hope that I can have future births naturally, but if I can't, God will get me through that too! I learned in a Beth Moore Bible study that God can deliver you from the fire, through the fire, or by the fire. In my case, I feel that He brought me through the fire with my daughter's birth and I still bear the scars from it, physically and emotionally.


 






heading home

Parenting a 10-month-old

I don't know what your upbringing was, but I was raised in a house where babies were pretty common...as the second-oldest of six children in my family, I "helped raise" my younger siblings and saw my mother regularly babysit as well.  My mother is seriously the baby expert, in my opinion. I still marvel at her skill when I think of my own childhood. I was babysitting for a family with four challenging children by the time I was twelve. Honestly, I wasn't worried about being clueless when my daughter was born. I believed that I had a pretty good idea of how to care for a child, and if I didn't know what to do, my mother was a phone-call away. For the first several months, by the grace of God, we did okay (I believe). At the end of each day, our daughter was still growing and breathing, warm, clean, fed and at least partially-clothed. Beyond those obvious needs, we read to her, play with her, hold her, snuggle her, pray with her, sing and dance with her, let her "help" us, talk to her about Jesus...

 

So, the confident me has been totally humbled. I don't know what has changed over the past week or two, but our 10-month-old sweetheart has learned how to manipulate and throw tantrums with the best of them. I know that we are all born into sin, but I hadn't seen it so much before this, if that makes sense. Don’t get me wrong- she is still a sweet and wonderful girl most of the time, but now she has these terrible moments…sometimes many moments strung together…
 

Up to this point, discipline has been fairly easy: Using a calm, fairly quiet voice, and say the appropriate thing with the corresponding action. Be polite and concise, and try to put things in the positive when possible (telling what to do rather than what not to do).

 
“Not for you.” (move her hand away and repeat as necessary, maybe after three or four times and help her find something else to do.)

“Please don’t touch.” (move her hand away)

“Not in your mouth, please. Are you hungry?” (pull it out of her mouth and tap mouth gently with one finger)

“That’s Mama’s. Where’s [baby’s]______?” (help her find her things)

“That’s Daddy’s. Where’s [baby’s]______”
 
“Please come back here.” (retrieve her if she does not respond)

“We don’t eat books. Can I read it to you?”  (remove book from mouth and read with her)

“Please don’t hit. Hitting hurts. Please be gentle.”(hold the hand and show it how to be gentle)

“Find something else to do, please. How about____?” (help her find a good activity)

“Please give it to Mama...(holding out hand or removing it from hand or mouth)…thank-you!”

 "Please be gentle with the kitty. (demonstrate gentleness)

 

Rather than drastically baby-proofing the house, we are training our daughter to know what she can and cannot do. We do still have a gate at the foot of the stairs and one cupboard that has a baby-proof latch for bleach etc. We say “nay-nay” instead of “no” for discipline and redirection and use “no” or “no, thank-you” as an answer to a question.

Last month, she learned to point at things. What a cute new skill, I thought. "Uh!" she'd say and point to something. I'd give her the words. "Bottle brush, [baby]. That's a bottle brush. I use that to clean your bottles." Without missing a beat she'd point sweetly to something else, like the faucet. "Uh?" and we'd answer, "Water. Would you like to touch the water? Okay, [baby]...all done now. Where's your baby?" You get the picture. She still does this. Sometimes she can have or do whatever it is that she is pointing at and sometimes she can't.  When she has had a good nap and is in a good mood, she is generally fairly polite and compliant with her "uh" inquiries, though fairly persistent, especially when she notices the kitty at the window and believes that it is very important for me to let her in immediately. Sometimes she can be redirected or distracted from something she is obsessing on, but recently she has tried screaming, crying, and lashing out physically to get what she wants. It was my husband who first noticed this new tactic of manipulation, but he was right in identifying it as such.

Last night, she bit my husband. I don’t remember the exact circumstances, but she was lashing out in anger during Bible Study and bit him. He immediately responded by removing her from the room and disciplining her. She is still quite young and her discipline looks something like this:

Parent: (immediate response, private if possible, using a stern, no-nonsense type face, and a low, calm voice, while putting slight pressure on her bottom teeth) “Please don’t bite. Biting hurts.” (Discipline is over, return to normal, though she may cry)

Last night, instead of responding in her usual way by turning her behavior around after discipline, she began pointing at the doorway and wildly screaming for Mama (to rescue her from Daddy). Now, at this point, discipline for biting was already over, and discipline for screaming began.

            Parent: (using a calm voice and tapping her mouth gently with one finger) We don’t scream like that. Please use your quiet voice. (Wait until screaming stops, or calmly repeat after a few minutes if necessary)

She continued to scream for several minutes and got herself all worked up. She was tired and she may not have understood why she couldn’t go to mama, since this isn’t a battle we have seen yet. I went to her with a pacifier to help her calm down, but by entering the room, I was unintentionally sabotaging the discipline my husband was administering. It is hard to refuse that desperate cry for mama. When I realized what I had done, I tried to support my husband, so I hugged her in his arms and told her to calm down, use her quiet voice and listen to her daddy. I apologized to my husband for intervening, handed him the pacifier, and left her screaming in his arms. Then I turned around and walked out of the room. The screaming escalated and I was kicking myself…if I hadn’t gone in there, she wouldn’t be doing this, I thought. Maybe 10 minutes later, the crying stopped and my husband emerged from the room with a sleeping baby in his arms and all was well. When she woke up, she was the sweet girl I know and love, and she and Daddy were on good terms.

Parenting is hard, even for a baby who is less than a year old, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It would have been easier, and more pleasant, if my husband had simply given her what she wanted by bringing her straight to me when she screamed. However, it would have given her the clear message that when she throws a fit, she gets the results she wants. That is not the message we want to send, and my amazing and steadfast husband had the wisdom to see it through to the end, despite his wife’s foolishness.

This is only the beginning. We have years of parenting challenges ahead of us. I am hoping that we will learn lots of tips and tricks with this baby so that we are more prepared for the next, but my friends keep telling me that babies are all different. If you have any tips or suggestions for us, I would appreciate the help!!

Making My Own Baby Food

I waited until my daughter was 9 months old to introduce solid foods. She was more than ready - enthusiastic even. I want to give her a healthy start to life, so I am trying to be conscious about what I am putting into her body. I have been making my own baby food for that reason, and it is cheaper too. The vegetables pictured in this post are carrots and peas, respectively.

 

My theory about baby food is that if I cook it as little as possible, it will have more nutrients than if I cook it a long time. I steamed the carrots on the stove until I could stick a fork through them, but not so long that they fell apart when I picked them up with a fork. I transferred them to the blender as soon as they finished cooking. I added water from the steaming process to the blender until it had enough liquid to blend well. I didn’t try to get a smooth puree like store-bought baby food; I wanted to preserve the integrity of the vegetable's texture to some degree while also preventing choking for a baby with no molars or experience.

 

When I felt that the food was sufficiently blended, I poured and scooped it into my two Tovolo silicone ice cube trays. These trays each have 15 cubes, and each perfect cube is 1 ounce. My Pampered Chef skinny scraper fits perfectly in each cube to release any air bubbles. Then I bounce the tray a little to make sure the food is down into the corners. After smoothing with a spatula, I place them on a cookie sheet in the chest freezer. These silicone trays are more sturdy than I thought they would be, but they are flexible.

I have read online that food from these trays can take on a weird flavor if it is left in them too long, so once the food is frozen solid (overnight) I pop them out and store them in quart freezer bags. The beautiful thing about perfect cubes is that they stack very neatly. Some reviews online stated that the cubes are very difficult to remove. I did not find this to be the case. With my first batch of food, I warmed the bottom of the trays by placing them in a sink that had about 1/2inch of warm water in it for about two minutes, being careful not to get any on the food. I was then able to pop each cube out individually. With my second and third batches, I left the trays on the sideboard for about 5 minutes before popping them out and had no trouble. I found that each quart bag fits 16 cubes (16oz) very well, so one tray makes nearly one bag of food.

I am not certain that it is a wise idea to eat microwaved food (still researching that), so I am avoiding it for the time being for my daughter. To warm her food, I remove her supper cube (she is eating one ounce per meal right now) and place it in a bowl. I allow it to warm to room temperature on the stovetop or sideboard. If I am using the oven, I will sometimes place the bowl near the vent to allow it to warm the food. She likes her food luke-warm.

I was surprised that the process was so easy. I have heard many of my friends say that making baby food isn't worth the time invested, and maybe I will feel like that with subsequent children, but right now it is totally do-able!  I like having her food right in my freezer, ready to go! I highly recommend the Tovolo perfect cube trays for making baby food - they are so easy to use!

Do you make baby food for your babies? What kinds to you make?

It is important to note that I purchased the Tovolo Perfect Cube Trays myself

and was not in any way compensated for this review.

My opinions are my own.

Sitting at the table : Review of the Chicco 360 Degree Rotating Hook On Chair

We don't have room for a kitchen table in the house that we are renting, but we do have an impressively large and sturdy coffee table in our living room. It would be awkward to put our daughter in a standard high chair or a booster seat in a chair when we are kneeling around the coffee table below her enjoying our meal, and we really don't have the floor space for a traditional highchair. The answer for us is a hook-on high chair. The Chicco 360 hooks right on to our coffee table with non-scratching rubberized arms and our daughter is contained and able to eat with us.

One of the best features of this seat is the tray. Most of the other hook-on chairs I considered did not come with a tray. I was afraid that food would fall down between the seat and the table and that the rubbery arms on the table would become nasty over time from being touched with food-covered fingers. The tray snaps on and off easily without any buttons or levers, but not

easily enough that our sweet baby girl can do it.

The entire surface of the tray is smooth but only the flat part is shiny. It has a molded cup-shape in one corner. When she has finished eating I take her out of the seat and pop the tray off. I put it right into the sink and wash it. My husband has mentioned that he thinks that carrots or red sauce (in the future) might stain it, so we don't leave any food on it very long. At 9 months, she could already reach the table to the sides of the tray somewhat, but the tray contains most of the food mess. The seat can be used for a child up to 37 pounds. The directions say to never use the seat without the tray. I am not sure why as there is no explanation. The tray can be put in the dishwasher, if you have one, although it is so easy to wipe clean that it is probably unnecessary.

The seat sports an adjustable 3-point harness, which we sometimes use. Honestly, she is so close to the ground that I don't worry too much about it most of the time. To unclasp the harness, there is a one-touch button.

The seat fabric can be removed for machine washing, but I find that I can surface-clean it with a wet dishcloth for the most part. I have learned that I can minimize the amount of food that gets on the seat by shoving a towel into the seat behind her, which supports her and keeps her forward, near the table. I have not figured out a way to effectively clean the crevice in the front where the chair rotates, but I am working on it.

To unhook the seat fabric, unsnap the fabric around the top of the seat and line up the sliding metal pieces under the tray with the holes in the plastic so that they can slip through. Then, lift.

The seat is called "360" because it rotates completely. To rotate the seat (independently of the tray), pull up on the yellow handle at the top of the back of the seat and spin the seat. You can rotate the seat with the child in it. There are 6 stopping-points that it snaps into as indicated by the red paint on the frame, but you can turn it to any point in between as well. This is a really cool feature because depending on where I am in the room, I can rotate her in any direction to face me.

 

facing the tray and table, notice the curved crevice along the front?



The hook-on chair can be taken apart (I wouldn't say "folded" like the product description says) for transportation. First, remove the tray and unhook the chair from the table. The arms individually slide out of the seat frame if you push both of the metal buttons on the bottom side at the same time and pull. I think it takes quite a bit of hand strength and coordination. One of the marketing points for this seat is that it can be used for travel because it fits a wide range of tables (with a skirt of up to 5.5 inches). A card table, a table leaf, or glass table would not be sturdy enough. It comes with a black mesh zippered bag with a strap for a handle. The bag is functional, but not what I'd call sturdy. I was careful to put the ends of the metal arms facing upward to make sure that they didn't puncture the material. Amazon says that it weighs 9 pounds.

 



Why is my tray in this bag, and what have you done with my seat?

The mechanism to hold the chair onto the table is quite intuitive. There are two places on each side that make contact with the underside of the table- the ends of the curved pieces and the tops of the straight piece. The straight pieces are adjustable. Before you put the chair on the table, the straight pieces are in the lowest position. Once the chair is in place, you push the straight pieces upward until they touch the bottom of the table. Then you turn the two yellow pieces on the bottom of the straight pieces to insure that they are locked, regardless of whether the release buttons are triggered. The yellow bumpy things near the camera in the picture are the release buttons, but they won't do anything until the other yellow pieces have been unlocked by twisting first.



So, to wrap this up, we really like this seat. It theoretically is supposed to last until she is three, but I doubt we will be using it for her that long. I would definitely recommend it, especially for those with small spaces! The only things that bother me are that small crevice to clean around the front and the fact that you have to take it apart rather than fold it for travel. Other than that, well done, Chicco, on another great product!